Lately I’ve found myself explaining our choice to send our kids to a parochial school. A number of parents have asked why we choose to pay money when public schools are “free”. They ask if we don’t think the public schools are “good enough” for our kids, (no, the public schools around here are fine schools). They comment about how expensive it is for us to send three kids to a church based school and wonder why on earth we would spend money over and above the tax money we pay for the public schools (its all relative and we all get to choose where we spend our money). They wonder if its simply because I went to a parochial school that we send our kids to one etc. (my husband went to public school all his life – no problem there). So aside from the NOYB answer I want to give, there are a lot of reasons that go into choosing a non-public school.
School choice is a very personal matter for each family, just as decisions to home school are very personal. We know that we are paying additional for an education that is very similar to the education received in the public schools. Our experiences with choosing a school for our kids have involved both public and parochial schools as our oldest daughter attended a public school from kindergarten through the middle of 3rd grade when we moved across the country to another community so we have seen it from both sides
I guess the best way I can explain our choice is that we choose to send our kids to a school that we know works to back up the moral basis we are working to instill at home. I’ve been verbally attacked for saying that and I’ve been accused of not believing that the public schools are providing a “moral education” but that is not what I mean at all. What I mean is we are working to instill Christian faith and values in our children and we like that the school that we are sending them to operates in a manner that reinforces those values. We like that their school life and faith life mix. Not everyone likes that, some people do not want their faith lives and school lives to mix and that is absolutely fine and their choice – we choose our way.
That said, it also does not mean that we are always in lock step with the school and doctrine but for the most part we agree with and we consent to the education our children are receiving – anything that may contradict or be a bit different from what we are teaching at home can and will be addressed at home.
My experiences with public school were generally positive and in some instances was superior to the parochial school my children attend now. The art and music curriculum as well as the enrichment programs available were definitely superior at the public school. On the other hand there were some things that I was less comfortable with. A conversation that I had with the principal at the public school comes to mind when I try to explain part of our reason for not choosing another public school. We were talking about the school’s policy regarding inappropriate language in the classroom and on the school grounds. There was a boy who was in the 4th grade (9 years old) and he was especially mouthy and a big fan of vulgarity. The principal contacted the boy’s parents to come in and meet with them regarding the son’s behavior. When he addressed the issue with them they defended their son’s language usage by telling him that they “teach their kids that there are no bad words”. The principal was floored by this because there are some words that never have a place in a classroom or in an elementary school but these parents insisted that their children are permitted to say whatever they like and that their child should not be punished for his language. I can’t say for sure but I’m reasonably positive that I’m more likely to run into parents with that mindset at public schools than I am at parochial schools. Just a hunch.
We are fortunate to live in an area with good public as well as good parochial schools, the children in this school district have access to excellent teachers and a school system rated Excellent by the State of Ohio but I think that ultimately the main reason we choose parochial schools is because in the end I know that the overwhelming majority of the teachers and parents there have a similar moral outlook on things. They can be liberal, conservative and everything in between but over all they want their kids to go to a school that reinforces the morality they are trying to provide their children at home. Some people may consider that exclusionary of other faiths but I think in a larger sense, because of the exposure, it teaches the kids to be considerate of faith in general. At least I hope it does.
As for the expense – for all three of my kids to go to their parochial school this year it will cost me over $2,000 less than it cost us for a year of day care for one of them.
21 Day Fix
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
This is NOT a Democracy
I’m not sure how my kids got the idea that our family operates as a democracy, heck we aren’t even a representative republic around here. Sure they have their say but as the parents we have nothing requiring us to act on or heed their requests. Ultimately all decisions come from above (us). We’ve tried to explain that at best this home is a benevolent dictatorship more than anything else.
I do not understand parents who give their children equal say in family decisions, that is not parenting that is governing which are two very different things. I do want my kids input when it comes to a lot of things, what movies to see, what restaurants to eat at, what parks to go to etc. but ultimately their input is just that, input – it is not a vote, in the end the final decision lies with my husband and myself.
That said, finding a balance is very important. Letting the kids know that their input is valued and taken into consideration in this dictatorship and deciding how much weight to give that input when making decisions is key, especially as the kids are getting older Letting them have more say but not final say is also a balance.
I’ve seen young children running their parents lives and it dismays me every time. Not in the way that the children have busy schedules so parents have insanely busy schedules but in more subtle ways. Say a child wants to take dance classes and there are multiple dance schools to choose from. The Mother wants one school and the child wants to attend a different one. When I hear the Mother say “I wanted XX school, but she wanted YY school and ultimately she won” I can’t believe it. The child is 6, you are 35 – how is it even possible that the child “won”? Or when a 12 year old saves up their own money to buy a TV for their bedroom and the parent says “I didn’t want him to have a TV in his room but he saved up his own money so what could I do?” You could say "NO" you are the parent.
My Dad had a lot of sayings that were drilled into my head growing up. “This is not a democracy”. “Life is not fair”. “Thing can be either fair OR equal but rarely both”. “I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to be your parent” and a number of others, especially ones that started with the words “while you are under my roof…”. While I may have disagreed with many of them while growing up, I’ve come to depend on them as part of my parenting of my own children. Yep, I make unpopular decisions – but not all the time. And even if they are unpopular the are usually good decisions.
Nearly every right they are given in this home is give by us. No child has a right to a cell phone, a facebook account, a computer, a TV, an iPod, certain clothes, to go out when they want etc. When they spend their own money if they buy something I do not approve of I can take it back or take it away.
I just really wish the parents of some of their friends felt the same way.
I do not understand parents who give their children equal say in family decisions, that is not parenting that is governing which are two very different things. I do want my kids input when it comes to a lot of things, what movies to see, what restaurants to eat at, what parks to go to etc. but ultimately their input is just that, input – it is not a vote, in the end the final decision lies with my husband and myself.
That said, finding a balance is very important. Letting the kids know that their input is valued and taken into consideration in this dictatorship and deciding how much weight to give that input when making decisions is key, especially as the kids are getting older Letting them have more say but not final say is also a balance.
I’ve seen young children running their parents lives and it dismays me every time. Not in the way that the children have busy schedules so parents have insanely busy schedules but in more subtle ways. Say a child wants to take dance classes and there are multiple dance schools to choose from. The Mother wants one school and the child wants to attend a different one. When I hear the Mother say “I wanted XX school, but she wanted YY school and ultimately she won” I can’t believe it. The child is 6, you are 35 – how is it even possible that the child “won”? Or when a 12 year old saves up their own money to buy a TV for their bedroom and the parent says “I didn’t want him to have a TV in his room but he saved up his own money so what could I do?” You could say "NO" you are the parent.
My Dad had a lot of sayings that were drilled into my head growing up. “This is not a democracy”. “Life is not fair”. “Thing can be either fair OR equal but rarely both”. “I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to be your parent” and a number of others, especially ones that started with the words “while you are under my roof…”. While I may have disagreed with many of them while growing up, I’ve come to depend on them as part of my parenting of my own children. Yep, I make unpopular decisions – but not all the time. And even if they are unpopular the are usually good decisions.
Nearly every right they are given in this home is give by us. No child has a right to a cell phone, a facebook account, a computer, a TV, an iPod, certain clothes, to go out when they want etc. When they spend their own money if they buy something I do not approve of I can take it back or take it away.
I just really wish the parents of some of their friends felt the same way.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Cooking with Your Kids
I want my kids to know how to cook and I don’t mean take something out of a box and put it on a stove, into a microwave or into oven.
Some of my earliest and favorite memories growing up involve being in the kitchen with my Mom. She didn’t let me help as much as I wanted, and for the most part dinner/meals were her domain, but we did a lot of baking together and I loved it and treasure those memories. By the time I was 9 or 10 years old I no longer had to consult the chocolate chip bag to prepare to make toll house cookies – the recipe was permanently affixed in my memory and to this day I can quote it to you (if you really wanted me to). I occasionally helped out with meatballs, spaghetti sauce, chili, meatloaf and a few other things as well and loved my time in the kitchen. In the end I think that over the years I’ve learned more from FoodTV and from cookbooks and cooking websites than I did at home but I learned a lot of important solid basics from Mom and want to make sure that my kids do the same.
To that end, my kids all seem to be budding chefs. Luckily my husband and I both like to cook and although our kitchen is small we believe it is important for kids to know how to find their way around in the kitchen. I’m often dismayed when I run into people who try to keep their kids out of the kitchen for various reasons. Mainly its because they don’t want their kids to get hurt (none of us do) or because they don’t want them to mess something up (we all mess things up) or they think they are too young (they’re probably not) or they think they "just don't have the time". When I hear excuses for keeping kids out of the kitchen I immediately think of a dear friend I grew up with, her Mother was a wonderful Italian cook – the food was always so good in their house. The Mom did it all herself for the most part and kept the kids out of the kitchen saying she would teach them when they were older. Well, they got older, moved out and into their own places and didn’t know how to cook very much of anything. They’d ask their Mom for recipes but it’s not the same as learning hands on and side by side and the time for that was gone. Cat’s in the Cradle in the kitchen I suppose.
Where and when to start? Well, our younger two are still in helper stage, although they are starting to be able to handle making scrambled eggs and a few other simple things with help, their cooking jobs mainly involve cracking and mixing eggs, dredging meat in flour, basic cutting of some soft vegetables, adding pre-measured ingredients to whatever is being worked on etc. they love it and I think it is important for them to see how food is prepared.
Of course what they really want to do is cut and chop and sauté stuff – that’s cooking to them (thank you foodtv). What is it about a knife that so attracts the budding youthful chef? When are they ready for that – I think it depends on the kid and when you think they are ready - we let all three of our kids help out and cut things in the kitchen, even the 5 year old, under very close supervision and guidance and while I’m sure there are people who will think we are nuts for that, the pride on her face after cutting up pieces of a cucumber safely and properly is priceless (and the knife she uses isn’t really that sharp – pampered chef makes a kids knife just for that type of application). Getting them ready to chop up onions on the other hand, well we have a great photo somewhere of our oldest solving the onion/eyes problem at about 10 years old – she put on her swim goggles before cutting into the onion. Creative problem solving at its best.
When “B” our oldest was about 8 wanted to know what some various seasonings and herbs tasted like – Jason had her taste them and figure out which ones she liked and let her know that those were probably the ones she would like on/with her food. Some of them she really liked, others she hated and spit out into the trash can – she’s learning. She really likes making dinner for the family and now has a few dishes that she claims as her own – she is the house chef for chicken parmesan and enchiladas and a few other things. She is only 12 so I don’t leave her on her own in the kitchen but I’m more her assistant as well as teacher when she is making dinner. Oddly enough she is more comfortable plunging her hands into a bowl of raw ground meat to mix up some meat loaf or meatballs than she is touching the food on the dirty dishes after we’ve eaten. I would think the raw meat would have more of an ewwww factor but not so.
Speaking of raw meat. Meat comes from animals. My kids know that and I don’t believe in sugar coating the fact that it used to be alive and walking or swimming around. I’m actually more deceptive about other foods – I remember telling my kids we were having “grilled portobello’s” once rather than saying mushrooms because I knew I’d have better luck getting them to eat them.
So how young is too young? I don’t know, but I do know that they have wanted to help since they learned that something was happening in the kitchen and I’ve taken cues from that. I’ve also learned that it’s not just what I want to cook. I’ve learned that sometimes they pick something that they want to make and that sometimes the best thing to is get the ingredients and give it a shot. “B” found a recipe for crab rangoons and we made it – it was not the best and we decided to try to find another recipe before we try that again. Our 6 year old found a recipe for Pita Pocket bread in an issue of Highlights and we’ll be making that tomorrow. I hope its good!
There are a lot of things that parents can do with their kids. Bike rides, hiking, playing games, yard work etc. but I think the things that include life skills are the ones that will last.
Looking for fun kid friendly recipes? Check out these eBooks.
Kids Fun Recipes
Click Here!
Kid Approved Meals
Click Here!
or
Healthy Eating for Kids
Click Here!
Some of my earliest and favorite memories growing up involve being in the kitchen with my Mom. She didn’t let me help as much as I wanted, and for the most part dinner/meals were her domain, but we did a lot of baking together and I loved it and treasure those memories. By the time I was 9 or 10 years old I no longer had to consult the chocolate chip bag to prepare to make toll house cookies – the recipe was permanently affixed in my memory and to this day I can quote it to you (if you really wanted me to). I occasionally helped out with meatballs, spaghetti sauce, chili, meatloaf and a few other things as well and loved my time in the kitchen. In the end I think that over the years I’ve learned more from FoodTV and from cookbooks and cooking websites than I did at home but I learned a lot of important solid basics from Mom and want to make sure that my kids do the same.
To that end, my kids all seem to be budding chefs. Luckily my husband and I both like to cook and although our kitchen is small we believe it is important for kids to know how to find their way around in the kitchen. I’m often dismayed when I run into people who try to keep their kids out of the kitchen for various reasons. Mainly its because they don’t want their kids to get hurt (none of us do) or because they don’t want them to mess something up (we all mess things up) or they think they are too young (they’re probably not) or they think they "just don't have the time". When I hear excuses for keeping kids out of the kitchen I immediately think of a dear friend I grew up with, her Mother was a wonderful Italian cook – the food was always so good in their house. The Mom did it all herself for the most part and kept the kids out of the kitchen saying she would teach them when they were older. Well, they got older, moved out and into their own places and didn’t know how to cook very much of anything. They’d ask their Mom for recipes but it’s not the same as learning hands on and side by side and the time for that was gone. Cat’s in the Cradle in the kitchen I suppose.
Where and when to start? Well, our younger two are still in helper stage, although they are starting to be able to handle making scrambled eggs and a few other simple things with help, their cooking jobs mainly involve cracking and mixing eggs, dredging meat in flour, basic cutting of some soft vegetables, adding pre-measured ingredients to whatever is being worked on etc. they love it and I think it is important for them to see how food is prepared.
Of course what they really want to do is cut and chop and sauté stuff – that’s cooking to them (thank you foodtv). What is it about a knife that so attracts the budding youthful chef? When are they ready for that – I think it depends on the kid and when you think they are ready - we let all three of our kids help out and cut things in the kitchen, even the 5 year old, under very close supervision and guidance and while I’m sure there are people who will think we are nuts for that, the pride on her face after cutting up pieces of a cucumber safely and properly is priceless (and the knife she uses isn’t really that sharp – pampered chef makes a kids knife just for that type of application). Getting them ready to chop up onions on the other hand, well we have a great photo somewhere of our oldest solving the onion/eyes problem at about 10 years old – she put on her swim goggles before cutting into the onion. Creative problem solving at its best.
When “B” our oldest was about 8 wanted to know what some various seasonings and herbs tasted like – Jason had her taste them and figure out which ones she liked and let her know that those were probably the ones she would like on/with her food. Some of them she really liked, others she hated and spit out into the trash can – she’s learning. She really likes making dinner for the family and now has a few dishes that she claims as her own – she is the house chef for chicken parmesan and enchiladas and a few other things. She is only 12 so I don’t leave her on her own in the kitchen but I’m more her assistant as well as teacher when she is making dinner. Oddly enough she is more comfortable plunging her hands into a bowl of raw ground meat to mix up some meat loaf or meatballs than she is touching the food on the dirty dishes after we’ve eaten. I would think the raw meat would have more of an ewwww factor but not so.
Speaking of raw meat. Meat comes from animals. My kids know that and I don’t believe in sugar coating the fact that it used to be alive and walking or swimming around. I’m actually more deceptive about other foods – I remember telling my kids we were having “grilled portobello’s” once rather than saying mushrooms because I knew I’d have better luck getting them to eat them.
So how young is too young? I don’t know, but I do know that they have wanted to help since they learned that something was happening in the kitchen and I’ve taken cues from that. I’ve also learned that it’s not just what I want to cook. I’ve learned that sometimes they pick something that they want to make and that sometimes the best thing to is get the ingredients and give it a shot. “B” found a recipe for crab rangoons and we made it – it was not the best and we decided to try to find another recipe before we try that again. Our 6 year old found a recipe for Pita Pocket bread in an issue of Highlights and we’ll be making that tomorrow. I hope its good!
There are a lot of things that parents can do with their kids. Bike rides, hiking, playing games, yard work etc. but I think the things that include life skills are the ones that will last.
Looking for fun kid friendly recipes? Check out these eBooks.
Kids Fun Recipes
Click Here!
Kid Approved Meals
Click Here!
or
Healthy Eating for Kids
Click Here!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Kindergarten Chronicles
My youngest child is about to start Kindergarten in 13 days. She is incredibly excited about going to school, meeting new friends, riding a bus and all of the adventure that school brings.
She feels that way because that is how we have approached the advent of her elementary school years.
The start of a Great Learning Adventure!
It is also how we approached the start of school 8 years ago for her 12 year old sister and her 6 year old sister last year when they were facing walking into a classroom by themselves for the first time. We tell them it is/was okay to be nervous about school, even a little bit apprehensive but there is no reason to be scared of going to school.
I believe that as a parent it is my job to make sure my kids are prepared for school and that they are looking forward to it. I think I’ve done that because when I asked her if she was even a “little bit worried” about going to school she looked at me like I was crazy and said “Noooo” in the way only a 5 year old can.
I know that there are a lot of people getting ready to send their 5 year olds out the door to embark on this Great Adventure and they are terrified, and sadly many are passing that fear and terror along to the new grade schooler. It’s the first time in their lives that we really send them off to do something ON THEIR OWN. Even if “going off to school” is nothing new to them, like in two working parent families where the kids have been in day care and pre-school since they were in diapers. This is different, no doubt about it. For the first time in their lives we are not signing them in and signing them out or taking them to a friend or relatives house. We are putting them on busses, dropping them off at the door, letting them walk to their classroom “by themselves” (don’t worry the people at the school will help if they get lost), having them remember their lunch, buying their own milk, making friends, HOMEWORK (yep, homework is a regular part of kindergarten these days), being graded on things. Big Kid Stuff.
We are letting them go. Just a little bit though.
I know a number of parents who are very nervous about this new stage in their child’s life. They are afraid their baby is growing up too fast, afraid that they won’t fit in, afraid that they will get lost, afraid that they won’t make friends and have someone to eat lunch with, afraid that their feelings will get hurt, afraid that they are “already behind”, afraid that something will go “wrong”.
Here’s my take on that. Your baby is not growing up to fast – they are growing up at exactly the right pace and are exactly where they should be. Sometimes they won’t fit in, other times they will fit in perfectly. They’re bound to get lost in school at least once, but someone nice will help them, and someday they’ll help another child. They will make friends, but not with everyone. They will eat lunch with friends some days, and they may eat lunch alone at other times. Sometimes they will cry when their feelings get hurt but mostly they will smile. No one is already behind – it is kindergarten. Things will go wrong and things will go right. Then they’ll come home and tell you all about it, so remember, the bad will be HORRIBLE, the good will be GREAT, and the reality will be somewhere in between.
Just like the adventure that is life.
She feels that way because that is how we have approached the advent of her elementary school years.
The start of a Great Learning Adventure!
It is also how we approached the start of school 8 years ago for her 12 year old sister and her 6 year old sister last year when they were facing walking into a classroom by themselves for the first time. We tell them it is/was okay to be nervous about school, even a little bit apprehensive but there is no reason to be scared of going to school.
I believe that as a parent it is my job to make sure my kids are prepared for school and that they are looking forward to it. I think I’ve done that because when I asked her if she was even a “little bit worried” about going to school she looked at me like I was crazy and said “Noooo” in the way only a 5 year old can.
I know that there are a lot of people getting ready to send their 5 year olds out the door to embark on this Great Adventure and they are terrified, and sadly many are passing that fear and terror along to the new grade schooler. It’s the first time in their lives that we really send them off to do something ON THEIR OWN. Even if “going off to school” is nothing new to them, like in two working parent families where the kids have been in day care and pre-school since they were in diapers. This is different, no doubt about it. For the first time in their lives we are not signing them in and signing them out or taking them to a friend or relatives house. We are putting them on busses, dropping them off at the door, letting them walk to their classroom “by themselves” (don’t worry the people at the school will help if they get lost), having them remember their lunch, buying their own milk, making friends, HOMEWORK (yep, homework is a regular part of kindergarten these days), being graded on things. Big Kid Stuff.
We are letting them go. Just a little bit though.
I know a number of parents who are very nervous about this new stage in their child’s life. They are afraid their baby is growing up too fast, afraid that they won’t fit in, afraid that they will get lost, afraid that they won’t make friends and have someone to eat lunch with, afraid that their feelings will get hurt, afraid that they are “already behind”, afraid that something will go “wrong”.
Here’s my take on that. Your baby is not growing up to fast – they are growing up at exactly the right pace and are exactly where they should be. Sometimes they won’t fit in, other times they will fit in perfectly. They’re bound to get lost in school at least once, but someone nice will help them, and someday they’ll help another child. They will make friends, but not with everyone. They will eat lunch with friends some days, and they may eat lunch alone at other times. Sometimes they will cry when their feelings get hurt but mostly they will smile. No one is already behind – it is kindergarten. Things will go wrong and things will go right. Then they’ll come home and tell you all about it, so remember, the bad will be HORRIBLE, the good will be GREAT, and the reality will be somewhere in between.
Just like the adventure that is life.
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